GETTY
Emma
Today we mark World Menopause Day – an important occasion for raising awareness of the menopause and the many ways it can impact the lives of people going through it.
There’s no doubt that conversations around the menopause – and the perimenopausal years that precede it – have opened up in the recent past, lifting the lid on some misconceptions and taboos that have made this period of life even harder to navigate for many. However, significant stigma persists around what is a deeply personal matter. Indeed, when I mentioned to a few friends that I was writing this article the reactions ranged from support to complete horror.
Considering how wide-ranging and severe menopausal symptoms can be, and how much they can affect people in nearly all areas of their lives, including at work, it is crucial to make it easier to talk about them and seek help. After all, huge numbers of us will experience symptoms – ranging from unpleasant to life-altering – as a natural part of getting older or as a result of certain surgeries and medical treatments. And not just women, but some transgender and non-binary people too.
As someone who suffered from severe endometriosis from the age of 18 – with the debilitating pain that it involved – I would often blithely say how much I was looking forward to the menopause. My rationale was that the menopause would be when I would stop experiencing the pain that dominated a big part of each month. I now realise how flawed this rationale was; I was simply moving from one challenging time to another.
I have gone through the menopause twice: briefly in my 20s when I received an experimental hormone treatment for my endometriosis and couldn’t take any hormones to counteract menopause symptoms, and again now. While my experience in my 20s mainly involved hot flushes and, randomly, breaking a rib through coughing, they were nothing when compared to what I have gone through in my 50s. And it’s different from a work perspective, I was lucky that my job when I was in my 20s wasn’t high pressure; this can’t be said for my 50s.
So, what are my symptoms? Well, they are pretty much the whole check list. Indeed, I was recently working on menopause inclusion guidance for my organisation and was able to tick the box against nearly all the symptoms I was listing as possible ones; some were symptoms that I had never even realised could be related to the menopause. My symptoms have included – but were certainly not limited to – hot flushes, arthritis in my fingers, brain fog and persistent insomnia (which in turn led to constant overwhelming exhaustion), and so much more. I spent a lot of time worrying that I was going to forget what I was saying mid-sentence – this is difficult when your job involves a lot of public speaking. I even found myself making little notes to remind myself of words. Like many people with menopause symptoms, I am a working parent with a senior role – my job needs me to be on top of things and to constantly multi-task (and to remember words). But all this became a struggle. At times I felt like I was losing the very essence of who I was and what made me, me.
Speaking and listening to colleagues – and hearing their own experiences – marked a turning point for me. This included Sharon Thorne who co-authors this piece, and others who are in relationships with people who have experienced the menopause. They helped me realise that I needed to seek specialist medical help - and they helped me realise that I wasn’t alone. On the medical side it is a constant trial and error – my endometriosis means that finding the right hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is tough. But at the moment – as of this week – my symptoms have abated.
It is my own experience, and hearing that of so many others, that has served to strengthen my belief that we need to work harder to remove the stigma around the menopause at work. I want each person going through it to feel able to be open about their symptoms and the impact they are having on them. I want them to feel able to do this without self-stigma – and without feeling they may be judged by colleagues. Just as we’re making progress in discussing, understanding, and mitigating mental health issues at work, we should now do the same with the menopause.
This is urgent – surveys have shown that too many people are continuing to leave the workplace due to menopause symptoms, and not everybody is able to access the medical treatment that I have been privileged to access. After years of people working hard to advance their careers and balance work and life, this silent exodus is an enormous loss not just to the individual, but also to the workplaces in which they contribute.
Put simply, careers shouldn’t stop when periods stop. We need to make it OK to speak about the menopause at work – even if it feels uncomfortable to do so at first. The more we do, the less uncomfortable we can feel and the more helpful these conversations may become. And the easier it should be to create a menopause inclusive workplace culture in which those going through the menopause should want – and be able – to stay.
——
Sharon
When I started going through the menopause, the topic was simply not discussed – especially not in the workplace. People were just expected to deal with their symptoms privately, including in the office, where those symptoms are often the hardest to manage.
This lack of openness shaped my own experience of the menopause: when my symptoms started, I did not know what they were due to. My sleep became severely disrupted, and I lost much of my usual energy and positivity. I found myself navigating long and stressful days on two hours’ sleep, and I was often overcome with negative emotions.
Because I did not associate these symptoms with the menopause, I did not get the help I needed as early as I could have. And when I did realise that it was the menopause, I didn’t share what I was going through, for fear of being perceived as someone who had ‘lost something.’ It took me a while to get the right treatment, and I worried for a long time about my symptoms worsening and the impact they may have on my career, at a stage where it was both the most demanding and promising.
Looking back, I wonder how different my experience might have been if the menopause had not been such a taboo at the time. I know that getting support and information at work would have helped me better manage those difficult times, and therefore I fully agree with Emma on the need to de-stigmatise the menopause in the workplace.
I also believe that this shift should be led by senior leaders, many of whom have personal experience of the symptoms, or have people close to them who do. This is why I have started sharing my story, and hope that others, if or when they feel comfortable to do so, may do the same.
Beyond open and authentic leadership, there are other steps employers can take to normalise conversations, create safe spaces for people to share their experiences, raise awareness, and reduce the isolation and confusion that many feel during the menopause.
At Deloitte, for example, we encourage our Deloitte firms to host webinars and menopause “cafés.” I have attended several hosted by Deloitte UK, and they have been incredibly eye-opening. I’ll never forget hearing from a very senior police chief on how she nearly gave up on both her career and marriage due to her symptoms, and her two-year struggle to get diagnosed.
As Emma points out, the menopause is not just a personal challenge, it’s also a business one. It is likely that more than half the population may experience the menopause during their career, with many resorting to reducing their hours, turning down promotions or leaving work altogether when symptoms become debilitating. These are people whose skills employers have invested in for years, and yet risk losing at the peak of their talent.
It is crucial, therefore, to embed menopause-specific policies within organisations’ inclusion strategies – from mental health support to flexible working or specific medical provision – to make sure people continue to thrive at this key stage of their lives and careers.
Menopause inclusion is part of Deloitte’s global diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) agenda – with many firms in our organisation adopting tailored practices such as an agile working program in Deloitte North and South Europe or a dedicated story-sharing platform in Deloitte US. We have also issued detailed menopause guidance globally – with information on symptoms, ways to alleviate them at work, leading practices in providing support, and resources for team leaders such as conversation guides.
I’m proud of our focus on menopause inclusion, but there is more to be done. As chair of the Deloitte Global Board of Directors, I personally commit to championing the issue in as many ways as possible, inside and outside Deloitte. Indeed, I believe the role of boards is key here – from setting the tone from the top on culture, values and importantly, DEI, to challenging management to constantly improve their menopause inclusion strategies.
The menopause can upend people’s lives and careers but there is much we can do to make sure work is a place of information, care and support. We can, and should, end the stigma.
