Melanie Boyack is a national keynote speaker and corporate trainer focused on stress, trauma, burnout and productivity/performance.
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As a prior trauma therapist, I've personally witnessed over 1,000 clients' stories of life stressors. For these clients, some stressors were crippling; others were merely annoyances. The common thread is that stress invariably leads to pain.
Some had PTSD symptoms that caused them to no longer trust their bodies; some were parents exacerbated by the mood swings of their teenagers and leaders whose families grew tired of them not leaving work at work. But understanding stress can help executives and managers lead their teams more effectively. Here are the facts.
Stress requires a personal perspective. One size doesn’t fit all.
Many individuals are not actually informed as to what is helpful stress vs. harmful stress for them personally. Not all stress is necessarily bad. Good stress, otherwise called "eustress," is a powerful motivator. Deadlines, time limits and goals are good stress—these help us get things done.
Unfortunately, not all stress is good stress. Bad stress occurs when the body’s response becomes unhelpful or paralyzing rather than motivating. When most use the word "stress," they’re referring to this type of stress—the kind that keeps you up at night.
But what is stress? Stress is the body’s reaction to change or strain. It’s a physical feeling caused by an action or something requiring attention.
Questions to ask yourself:
• At what point do you personally pass the threshold of good vs. bad stress?
• What things make you aware you have passed this threshold?
There are variations in coping with stress: maladaptive vs. adaptive.
When stress becomes daunting, there are many different ways in which we may find ourselves trying to manage the emotion to ease the discomfort. Some of these ways are considered to be adaptive (meaning you can make the positive changes to create equilibrium) versus maladaptive (coping in a way that can cause more harm).
Adaptive would mean that you are able to continue to work though logical thoughts and not respond without emotional responses. Your body is cool, calm and collected and you are able to maintain your creativity and connection.
Let's say your teenage daughter won’t get out of bed, and it’s 1 p.m. An adaptive response: having a conversation with her at another time. Maladaptive: banging on her door and yelling at her she is lazy.
You have another employee who has left work, and your team is understaffed. Adaptive: sitting down to discuss options on how to navigate the load. Maladaptive: staying up until 1 a.m. because of racing thoughts from the stress.
Stress and trauma hijack the body’s nervous system.
When your body gets dysregulated, it is designed to try and protect you. Outside the feeling of being cool, calm and connected, stress will kick you into fight, flight and freeze to try and get you to react.
• Fight may look like racing thoughts, agitation, inability to relax, working longer hours, aggression and rigidness.
• Flight may look like avoidance, getting away from concerns rather than addressing them and keeping yourself busy to avoid stressors.
• Freeze may look like isolation; not feeling any emotions, good or bad; lack of action; and difficulty with creativity or connection.
According to the American Institute of Stress, the fight or flight response is how the body reacts to acute stress—your body releases chemicals designed to help you react for safety. These chemicals can cause certain parts of your brain to activate in order for you to physically react in a way that is the most likely to keep you safe. Even though you may not be physically unsafe, your body perceives it the same.
Trauma works similarly. Regardless of the trigger, trauma causes the body to undergo the same reaction, with one caveat: During and after a trauma, the body doesn’t and can’t turn off this response. Exposure to trauma, especially repeated trauma, can cause the body’s "normal" stress response to go into hyperdrive, leaving us stuck in fight, flight or freeze.
Trauma can interfere with the brain’s ability to focus and heal, wreaking havoc on a person’s immune system. Victims of trauma might feel unsafe in their bodies or fearful of emotions, causing them to avoid them entirely.
In fact, the word “trauma” has evolved and changed through the decades. It used to be associated with rare events like war, but in current times, it has become a common matter of speech. According to Psychology Today, "Trauma is a person's emotional distress resulting from an event that overwhelms the capacity to emotionally digest it," and around 70% of our population experience it in their lifetime.
You get a choice in how you react.
Stop and listen. If someone chooses to ignore when they are experiencing stress or trauma, that is a choice. Choice means that we are giving our bodies permission to decide what they think is best for survival. Ignoring stress causes the body to subconsciously decide for us.
Many individuals don’t want to yell at the cashier because they took too long and they were going to be late to work or avoid contact with another person, hoping they will feel better. They want more of an active choice in how they respond.
For employers: Why does this matter, and how can you help?
Many jobs are inherently stressful. From financial employees, lawyers and police officers to receptionists, many people experience stress on the job. Workplace hazards like toxic stress, exposure to traumatic events and even a heavy workload can weigh on your employees, even causing trauma.
Help your employees by identifying and eliminating any potential workplace stressors. These might include bottlenecks, high workload or workplace bullying or abuse.
Hold workshops and sessions to help employees identify their own triggers. Remember that every dollar an employer spends on these resources sees a return of $4 in productivity and output.
Most importantly, show your employees some empathy. Create a safe workplace that is open to these difficult discussions.
The information provided here is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. You should consult with a qualified healthcare provider for advice concerning your specific situation.
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