Maria Tedesco, President and Chief Operating Officer at Atlantic Union Bank.
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I was once asked to speak in front of 150 people at an International Women’s Day event. I did my research; I was prepared—and still, I thought to myself, why on earth would they pick me?
As women, we work tirelessly during our careers to make it to top-level executive roles. After all the work climbing the ladder, instead of celebrating our successes, many of us hear different, less uplifting voices in our heads. Why me? I’m not sure I deserve this. I don’t think I should be here. Don’t they know I’m not good enough?
Undeserved Success: A Symptom Of Imposter Syndrome
Believe it or not, 75% of women executives experience imposter syndrome in the workplace. Interestingly, many women do not believe that their male counterparts experience imposter syndrome, but men can be just as likely to experience these feelings, just in a different way.
Imposter syndrome is a persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or legitimately achieved by merit, and it can present itself in different ways. Often, men who experience it shy away from taking big risks for fear of failure, while women experiencing imposter syndrome have done the hard work or taken the risks but still feel they don’t deserve the rewards.
I believe these feelings for many women come from the way society subtly tells us to “know our place.” For example, I was once asked by a reporter, “What is it like to be a woman in banking?” When there’s an assumption that it’s unusual for women to work in banking, or any industry, this can feed into a form of gender bias known as role incredulity. When this happens, women have to spend extra time asserting themselves and proving they are worthy of their role.
How Does It Start? The Root Of Imposter Syndrome
The big question is: Where does imposter syndrome come from? The reason is tough to identify from person to person as it is rooted in subjective experience. On paper, women look impressive; 46% of women between the ages of 25 and 34 hold bachelor’s degrees compared to 36% of men in the same age range. Yet, despite this, young women, ages 18-29, experience the highest percentage of self-doubt in the workplace, closely followed by women ages 30-49. Essentially, we are doubting ourselves from higher education through the height of our careers.
While it’s true that we are roughly 130 years away from gender parity, and the wage gap persists, many women have never seen more economic and professional success than they do right now. And yet, self-doubt is still common among high-performing women. Achievements, unfortunately, do not always mitigate these feelings of self-doubt. So, what can we do about it?
Staying Confident: How To Battle Feelings Of Self-Doubt
When I was first starting in my career, I was fortunate to have family in my corner championing my efforts. Anytime I started to doubt myself, they would remind me of all the reasons I deserved to be in a certain position or serve as an expert on a topic. It’s important to surround yourself with people who encourage you and want to see you win. Whether it’s a spouse, other family members, friends or colleagues, having a solid support system is a strong defense against self-doubt.
Workplace culture is also critical in fighting off imposter syndrome. At my company, we encourage our teammates to be vocal. The executive leadership team hosts “Ask Us Anything” sessions, and teammates get to do just that—ask us about anything they are curious about. We try to keep the communication lines open. Additionally, employee resource groups (ERGs) can help employees support one another and find their voices together.
Getting Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
To grow and learn, we need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is less about “fake it until you make it” and more about the importance of pushing boundaries. At first, it can be hard to put yourself in uncomfortable situations, but the more you do it, the more confident you will likely feel.
When I was young, I was very shy, and my parents encouraged me to work as a hostess in a restaurant. This helped me build interpersonal skills that still serve me. In college, professors encouraged me to change my major from physical education to business, ultimately directing me to the path I’m on today. I never wanted to teach, but I was going to settle for something I was sure I could do. Instead, I chose to get uncomfortable. Now, when I’m taking inventory of my day, I ask myself, “Did I get out of my comfort zone today?”
Expanding Your Network
My last piece of advice is this: In my last article, I shared some insight on the power of networking. I can’t think of anything more nerve-wracking than asking someone I don’t know to go to coffee or to share their knowledge or experience with me, but that is how we advance and build confidence.
Leverage who you know to make you better. The people you know turn into your extended support system, and those are the people who will remind you: You’re here because you deserve it. You’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Envision Your Success And Move Forward
Imposter syndrome is something many executives—female and male—experience at some point in their careers. In order to continue and grow, it’s critical to put a support system in place and look for ways to push the boundaries. We can’t always control the positions we’re put in, but we can control how we lead in those positions.
The next time you ask yourself “Why me?” try visualizing yourself achieving success. What would it look like if you achieved the most ideal outcome? What steps would you take to get there? Most of us have the know-how and the talent; we just need to believe we’re capable of becoming the leaders we’re meant to be.
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