Marriage is more than just a romantic partnership. It is a legal relationship that gives you certain rights and obligations. If you want to end your marriage, you need to go through the divorce process in order for the state to formally dissolve your union.
The steps of divorce can be complicated, and it can take time to become single again. This guide to the divorce process step by step will help you to understand what to expect so you can be prepared for all the hoops you’ll need to jump through if you no longer wish to be married to your spouse.
What Is Involved in the Divorce Process?
Divorce occurs when the court legally ends your marriage. You are not considered divorced in the eyes of the law until a judge signs a divorce decree.
In addition to ending your marriage, most divorces decide how your marital property is divided, whether alimony or spousal support is owed and how custody of your children is shared.
The specific steps of the divorce vary by state, so it is important to learn the rules for where you live. In most states, however, you will need to complete similar steps of divorce before your marriage can be dissolved.
There are also different types of divorce, including fault and no-fault divorces and contested and uncontested divorces. You and your spouse will need to consider what is right for you, as well as for any children who are involved.
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Divorce Process Step by Step
Here are the divorce steps you may have to go through before the court declares your marriage is over.
Separation
Divorce cannot happen overnight. In fact, many states have a divorce waiting period. This means a certain amount of time must pass between the time you separate and/or the time you file for divorce and the time your marriage is officially over.
The waiting period before divorce could range from as little as a few weeks to as long as a year, although there are some locations that don’t impose a waiting period at all.
During the waiting period, you may be informally or formally separated from your spouse.
- If you are informally separated, you live apart. In some states you can do this in the same house.
- If you are legally separated, you have a written agreement or order about money, custody and support. This can be helpful if your spouse is not being cooperative (for example, by not allowing you access to your home or children or by denying you financial help you need).
It is very important you understand whether your state requires a period of separation before your marriage ends and how your state defines separation. Otherwise, you could end up delaying your divorce. An experienced divorce attorney can explain this aspect of the divorce process where you live.
Determining the Grounds for Divorce
When you are ready to move forward with the divorce process, you’ll have to decide whether to file a petition asking for a fault divorce or a no-fault divorce.
All states allow no-fault divorce. This means neither party is alleging any specific wrongdoing as justification for the divorce. Instead, the divorce is just based on the fact you and your spouse have irreconcilable differences. A no-fault divorce is granted even if your spouse does not want the divorce.
Some states also allow for fault divorces. This means there are specific grounds for divorce such as abuse, abandonment or adultery.
Fault divorces can be more complicated and expensive, but you may request a fault divorce for several reasons. You may want it on record that you believe the other party was to blame for your breakup. Or you may think you can influence the court’s decisions about issues such as asset division or custody by proving your spouse wronged you.
Filing for Divorce
Filing is one of the most crucial steps of divorce. In this part of the process, you actually file paperwork with the court to begin the process of formally dissolving your marriage.
If your state imposes a waiting period, make sure you have been separated for the required length of time before filing for divorce so you don’t have to begin the process over again.
You also need to make sure you file your petition for divorce in the appropriate court. This is usually the family or divorce court in the county in which you or your spouse live, as there are residency requirements in most locations. These rules require you to have lived in the area for a certain period of time before divorcing there.
You need to provide some crucial information in your petition for divorce including:
- Names and contact information for you and your spouse
- The grounds for divorce
- Whether you have children and, if so, their personal identifying information including their ages and locations
- What you desire with regard to the division of property and child custody, as well as whether you are asking for alimony or child support.
You need to pay a divorce filing fee when you submit your petition for divorce (or you can complete a request to waive the fee if paying it would be a financial hardship). Fees vary based on location.
Serving the Petition for Divorce
When you file for divorce, your spouse must be formally notified. You can request that the sheriff serve your spouse with divorce papers or hire a process server.
If you do not know the location of your spouse, you still need to attempt to ensure they receive notice of the divorce filing. You can do this by publishing notices in local newspapers if the court gives you permission.
Before you can move forward with the divorce process, you must be able to provide proof to the court that your spouse was served (or that you attempted to serve the papers).
Response or Default Divorce
In most cases, when you serve your partner with divorce papers, they have a set period of time to respond.
If your partner does not do so, you can petition the court and request a default divorce (also sometimes called an uncontested divorce). The court typically will move forward, awarding you all that you requested and dissolving your marriage. If you and your spouse have children together, however, the court ensures it is acting in the children’s best interests before making decisions regarding them.
Typically, however, your spouse will respond after you have filed a petition for divorce. This means your spouse will submit an “answer” to your initial petition for divorce. Your spouse might agree with you in the answer or may disagree with your assertions. Your spouse can also file a counter-complaint and introduce new allegations or information for the court to consider.
If your spouse responds, they typically must serve you with a copy of that response and provide proof of this service to the court in order for proceedings to continue.
Temporary Hearings
In some cases, a temporary hearing will be held after a petition for divorce is filed but before the official court proceedings begin to dissolve the marriage. This is especially likely in states where there is a long waiting period between the time a couple separates and the time divorce can take place.
In the temporary hearing, the court can address issues that are unable to wait until the full trial to dissolve your marriage. This could include:
- Creating a temporary custody arrangement
- Awarding temporary financial support for spouses or children
- Putting a domestic violence restraining order in place
- Placing restrictions on the use or sale of joint assets
- Ordering an appropriate division of expenses during the divorce proceedings
Both you and your spouse should expect to be present at the temporary hearing—and you should generally make sure you are represented by an experienced divorce lawyer who can advise you on the process and help to protect your rights.
Discovery and Preparation
Once the case has begun, your attorney will gather evidence. They may subpoena documentation, hold depositions or send questions to the opposing counsel.
Settlement or Trial
The final step before your marriage is dissolved involves either negotiating a divorce settlement the court can sign off on or going to trial to decide how support, custody and division of assets will work.
It is generally best if you can move forward with an uncontested divorce in which you and your spouse come to an agreement on the issues involved in ending your marriage. You may wish to work with a mediator if you can’t come to an agreement on your own. Negotiating an out-of-court settlement can save you money and help you come up with a settlement that works best for your family.
If you cannot come to a consensus on all the issues raised in your divorce, you will need to proceed to trial. During the trial, each party can argue their case, including presenting witnesses and evidence. The court will consider the details, as well as state laws governing the division of custody and property, when deciding contested issues during divorce.
Do You Need an Attorney to Help You Through the Steps of Divorce?
Although you can learn about the divorce process step by step, it can still be challenging to complete all of the legal requirements. You also must make sure you protect your rights throughout the process of ending your marriage.
An experienced divorce attorney is there for you during all of the steps of divorce. Your lawyer helps you understand divorce requirements, files the right paperwork in a timely manner, negotiates a fair settlement and maximizes the chances you end up with a divorce judgment you’re happy with.
You should contact a divorce lawyer if you are thinking of ending your marriage so you can better understand your rights and protect your interests throughout the process.
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Frequently Asked Question (FAQs)
How long does a divorce take?
The timeline for the divorce process varies based on many factors including whether your state imposes a waiting period for divorce as well as whether you and your spouse can agree on a divorce settlement or must go to trial to allow a judge to decide on custody, support and division of property. An experienced divorce lawyer helps you throughout divorce proceedings to move things along as quickly as possible while protecting your interests.
Do you have to be separated before you get divorced?
State laws differ regarding whether you must be legally separated before you can dissolve your marriage. In some cases, you must live independently of your spouse for months before you can officially divorce. In other locations, there is no prior separation requirement. If you live in a state that does require you to live separately, be sure to understand exactly what the definition of “separated” is so you do not unnecessarily delay your divorce.
How is property divided in divorce?
You and your spouse can determine how you will split up marital property or the court can divide your assets for you if you can’t come to an agreement on your own. Courts follow the laws of your state when determining how to divide property. In community property states, marital property is divided 50/50. In other states, the court provides an equitable (or fair) distribution of property, which does not necessarily mean an equal distribution.
