Divorce was not part of your original plan when you married, but it unfortunately may become necessary. The good news is that not every divorce needs to be complicated, and you don’t always need an attorney to represent you. Here are the basics of how to file for divorce.

How to File for Divorce in Your State

Each state has its own divorce forms which you can obtain from the state court website or at the courthouse. You can also choose to work with an attorney who will file for you. You must use the specific forms for your state to file for divorce.

In general, you will file a petition or complaint for divorce and serve your spouse with it. This document asks for a divorce and explains what you are asking for in terms of distribution of assets and debts, support and child custody.

Your spouse will be able to respond to the complaint or petition. Each side can then request discovery to obtain documents (such as bank statements) from each other so that both sides have the same information. Some states require you to go to mediation or to at least have settlement meetings with court personnel.

If your divorce does not settle, a trial is scheduled, and the judge hears both sides and makes a determination. If the divorce is complicated with a lot of assets or custody issues, it may take several days or weeks to complete the trial.


What are the Requirements for a Divorce Filing

States have varying requirements about how long you have to live in the state before you can file for divorce, waiting periods after filing and grounds for divorce.

Residency Requirements

When you want a divorce, you don’t necessarily have to file for divorce in the state where you were married. Instead, you must meet the residency requirement for the state you live in at the time you file for divorce. Residency laws generally require you to live in the state for at least three months prior to filing, but this varies from state to state, so check your state laws. If one spouse lives in another state, you may choose which state to file for divorce in.

Waiting Period

Your divorce isn’t going to be finalized immediately after filing the petition. In fact, even if both parties agree on all terms, the state may require a waiting period before you can finalize the divorce. For example, California has a six-month waiting period. Texas is shorter, with a 60-day waiting period.

Some states may have longer waiting periods, specifically for couples with minor children. The waiting period is intended to be a time to let emotions cool down and allow the couple to be certain they want a divorce and to try to reach a settlement if so.

Grounds for Divorce

The grounds for a divorce is the reason you are seeking divorce. All states have no-fault divorce, which means neither spouse is blamed. However, most states also offer grounds such as adultery, imprisonment, abandonment, legal separation or cruel and inhuman treatment. If you use a ground other than no-fault you must provide proof.


Do I Need an Attorney to File for Divorce?

It isn’t necessary to get an attorney when filing for divorce. There are even some online divorce services that can make the process easy.

However, complicated divorces with a lot of assets, debts and custody issues usually require the know-how of a savvy family law attorney who knows how to navigate the system and make compelling arguments so that the judge can make the best decision.

Some couples that agree on all the divorce terms can use one attorney to file all the documents if they don’t want the headache of dealing with the courts and documents on their own. However, each spouse should always have their own attorney review any settlement prior to filing.

Many people file for divorce without the help of an attorney and can get guidance from the court’s self-help center to complete the appropriate forms. Keep in mind that self-help centers will not offer legal advice; they are just there to assist with getting the correct forms in order.


How to Start a Divorce

There are at least initial three forms to complete when filing for a divorce including the:

  • Family court cover sheet. This lists the basic information about you and your spouse, including any children that you have. The person who files the form is the plaintiff or petitioner, while the other spouse becomes the defendant or respondent.
  • Complaint for divorce. This may also be called a Petition for Divorce and tells the judge what you want from the divorce, including assets, child support, spousal support and custody.
  • Summons. This is filed with the court and served with the other documents to your spouse to notify them of the divorce request. They have a limited timeframe to respond to this–usually 21 days, but this may vary from state to state.

The forms are filed with the court clerk, who date stamps them and enters them into the court record.


Serving Your Spouse

While most couples have had a conversation about the divorce before the petition is filed, this isn’t a requirement. Legally, however, you must notify your spouse of the official court filing whether you discussed the divorce or not. This is done by having the summons, petition or complaint legally served on your spouse.

Service is usually accomplished by a professional process server handing your spouse the documents and then filing a form. You can have someone you know serve the papers if they understand the state rules or you can hire a process server, which usually costs between $30 and $100.

Some states, such as Hawaii, allow service to be done via certified or registered mail. Check with your state regarding requirements for serving your spouse.

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Filing the Response Papers

If you are not the plaintiff, you will be served the divorce documents. You must file your response or answer within the given period of time. While most states give 21 days to respond, you’ll want to check with your state’s court clerk to make sure that you file your response on time. The document you receive will likely also list this.

In the response papers, you will state what you agree with and don’t agree with in the complaint or petition. You might not agree with how your spouse wants the assets to be divided or the requested custody schedule. You can also simply state you are contesting everything your spouse is asking for, which gives you time to think through your options.

Make several copies of your response. You’ll file one with the court clerk, send one to your spouse and keep one for your records.


Uncontested and Contested Divorce Filings

An uncontested divorce means you don’t challenge anything your spouse asks for in the petition or complaint. Essentially, you are giving your spouse everything that they are asking for or you have reached a settlement together that is submitted with the petition or complaint. Some states will allow a reduced waiting period if the divorce is uncontested. For example, Hawaii will have no waiting period, making the divorce process quick.

An uncontested divorce also happens when the defendant or respondent simply does not answer within the required time period. The case then proceeds without them.

If your divorce is contested, the court will hear both sides at trial and then make a determination on what the final ruling will be. Expect to clearly outline your wishes and provide any evidence to back up claims that would affect a judge’s ruling. For example, if your spouse has a history of drug abuse and you want primary custody, having evidence of their drug use, rehab and any arrests will help your case.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What if I can’t locate my spouse for service of divorce papers?

If you cannot locate your spouse to serve them with divorce papers, the law may allow you to use another type of service, sometimes called substituted service. This could involve leaving the documents with someone at your spouse’s home or workplace or publishing a notice in a newspaper.

How long does divorce take?

The length of time a divorce case will take depends on the court’s schedule, whether there is a waiting period and whether or not you have reached a settlement. In most cases expect it to take several months at a minimum and a year or more if it is a contested divorce.

How much will divorce cost?

The cost of divorce depends on whether you use an attorney and how complex your case is. If you file the papers yourself, you will only have to pay your state’s filing fees of a few hundred dollars or less. The average cost of an attorney for a contested divorce was $11,300 according to one study. Lawyers usually bill at an hourly rate between $200 and $300 per hour.

How is a divorce finalized?

Your divorce is final when the judge signs the divorce judgment or decree of divorce. This document lists the court’s decisions about all the issues in the case and legally ends the marriage.