How To Talk To Your Kids About Birth Control According To Experts

There are a number of reasons why it’s important to talk to your child about birth control.

For one, reproductive health is related to a child’s overall health and well-being. “I really think it’s part of health awareness and health education, just like we teach our kids about how to brush their teeth and hygiene,” says Silka Patel, M.D., assistant professor of gynecology and obstetrics at Johns Hopkins Health Care Center in Odenton, Maryland.

“We see a lot of young people in [our] clinic who run into all sorts of issues because they don’t have all the information they need to be thoughtful and healthy,” says Richard Chung, M.D., an adolescent medicine specialist and pediatrician with Duke Health in Durham, North Carolina.

It’s also important to ensure that kids are getting accurate information, and parents can play a role in making that happen. “Especially in these times, when kids have access to a lot of information on the internet, it is important for them to be directed to accurate information,” says Kelly Culwell, M.D., a fellowship-trained OB-GYN and a Forbes Health Advisory Board member. Talk with your child’s pediatrician or adolescent health provider about sites they trust online for teens.

The appropriate timing for these conversations will vary depending on the child. In general, experts recommend honestly addressing questions as they come up and taking advantage of opportunities early on to start and build on the conversation.

“I think like all important health conversations, it’s best to start early and talk often and over time,” says Dr. Chung. He notes that these conversations might start “earlier than most parents are thinking or are necessarily comfortable with, but that’s okay, because these are important conversations to have.” Sometimes they can be brief conversations in moments where the topic is relevant or comes up because of the discussion. A conversation lasting even a minute can help inform a teen and provide trust that you are an open source of support and information.

“It’s not the talk—it’s a talk, because there are going to be more,” agrees Dr.Patel. “It shouldn’t be just one conversation. It should be a series of many conversations.” The first conversation can “set some ground rules,” she explains, emphasizing that, “it’s okay to be uncomfortable,” and to “leave that door open for a child to ask questions later.”

When it comes to a specific age, there are no hard-and-fast rules around when it’s appropriate to introduce these topics to children. “Birth control should be part of any conversations about relationships and sexuality and development,” says Dr. Culwell. “Discussions about body parts, changes and puberty can start early — particularly when the child indicates interest in knowing about their body.”

Dr. Patel notes that your child “having thoughts or conversations with you about expanding the type of relationships they’re having with their peer group from purely platonic to “something else” means it’s time to be having these conversations.”

Parents also might tailor the information provided depending on the child’s age. Dr. Chung recommends that a parent might consider “starting generally and talking about what birth control is in general as a means to prevent unplanned or unintended pregnancy,” and then progress the conversation from there if it seems like the child is ready and open to the information.

Typical forms of birth control are generally safe for teens to use. Ultimately, when it comes to deciding on a form of birth control, it will depend on what will work for each individual, taking into account ease of use and whether birth control can help with other issues they may be experiencing. Other factors to take into consideration include efficacy, cost and any potential side effects.

“For most teenagers, we focus on hormonal birth control options,” says Dr. Chung. “These are different options that generally contain a progesterone hormone and sometimes in combination with estrogen.”

This could include:

• Pills
• Patch
• Shots
• Vaginal ring
• Intrauterine devices (IUDs)
• Hormonal implant

Because these methods do not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), condoms should also be used.

“It isn’t necessarily a one-size-fits-all, but because there are so many different options, we can find something that fits a young person well,” says Dr. Chung. However, it’s always best to discuss with a doctor.

It is important to note that teen boys bear responsibility too when it comes to birth control. Although there is currently no Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved hormonal birth control for males at this time, parents can still discuss with their sons the importance of using condoms and providing support to their female partner when it comes to openly talking about how they plan to have sex responsibly. The discussion of condom use is crucial considering there are no forms of hormonal birth control that also protect against STIs.

Birth control can certainly help prevent pregnancy, but that isn’t the only reason your teen may benefit from taking birth control. Conditions that may be improved by hormonal birth control for girls include:

• Irregular periods
• Painful periods
• Heavy periods
• Long periods
• Hormonal acne or facial hair growth
• Medical conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)

“There’s a lot of things that we can address,” says Dr. Patel. “So letting us have those conversations together about what we can and can’t do with hormone-regulating birth control is important. Parents might be surprised what options are available [now] that might not have been available to them.”

If your child approaches you and says they need birth control, “then that’s your answer,” says Dr. Patel. But in many instances, a teen might not be so forthcoming. It might be a topic for parents to broach if their child is involved in relationships that are non-platonic or have mentioned how they are feeling about somebody. This includes both boys and girls, so birth control is known as a shared responsibility.

“Very often, it’s helpful just to talk more generally and say ‘I know a lot of young people at this time of life are talking about birth control and wondering about it, and I want you to know it’s something I’d be happy to talk to you about,’” says Dr. Chung.

Dr. Chung also emphasizes the importance of parents “normalizing, being open ended and putting out the invitation” when it comes to addressing birth control with their teen. “You don’t want to compel or force the conversation or the decision,” he says. “Really let the young person drive it as much as possible.”